stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

(via vvurrnple)

51,754 notes / reblog

eternalravendreamer:

leonkuwatatata:

do you ever get mad at yourself because youre not even good at the things you thought you were good at

YOU PUT THE THING INTO WORDS

(Source: niikolatesla, via vvurrnple)

604,016 notes / reblog

bauks:

"Are you really going to let [someone saying something homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic/racist] ruin an entire potential relationship?"

yeah lol

(Source: bauks, via vvurrnple)

26,641 notes / reblog

boodlicious:

forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door

(via vvurrnple)

369,254 notes / reblog
makotoshunger:

IM SORRY FOR PUTTING A COMMENT ON THIS BUT THIS IS THE FUCKING FANFIC I WROTE I FUCKING WROTE THAT IM SORRY FOR EVERY ONE WHO HAS READ IT

clashboarding:

when ur mom gives u money to buy something and forgets to ask for the change

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(Source: milfdud, via vvurrnple)

223,499 notes / reblog
"I don’t have a problem with gay people I just don’t want them throwing it in my face"

ezekielofgod:

boner-chan:

misandry-mermaid:

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Uh…… you mean like this?

wow. let it be known that tumblr legitimately changed my opinion on something today.

I’m sorry but is there an advert about toilet paper in there. They are legitimately trying to sex up toilet paper.

(via vvurrnple)

167,544 notes / reblog
yungwalterwhite:

AAHHHHHH
datagoddess:

This is a good reason to always carry sidewalk chalk in the car.
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