If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family
Stop reblogging my failure
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do you ever get mad at yourself because youre not even good at the things you thought you were good at
YOU PUT THE THING INTO WORDS
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"Are you really going to let [someone saying something homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic/racist] ruin an entire potential relationship?"
forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door
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when ur mom gives u money to buy something and forgets to ask for the change
Uh…… you mean like this?
wow. let it be known that tumblr legitimately changed my opinion on something today.
I’m sorry but is there an advert about toilet paper in there. They are legitimately trying to sex up toilet paper.
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